


Cabin in the Woods was by the Lake

by Rubinia



Category: Alien Series, Alien: Covenant, The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Genre: Aliens, Crossover, F/M, Horror, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 22:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11746194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubinia/pseuds/Rubinia
Summary: Warning! Mild spoiler to "Cabin in the Woods" movie and (possibly) to Alien:Covenant, too!Danny has dreamt of Cabin by the Lake. Five teenagers aimed to spend free time on camp-like in Cabin in the Woods. Their cosy haven hides an awful secret. Danny's belief is tainted.When the teens come across a flute and a nail, they play with the fire or -to say clearly- with acid that burns like fire.





	Cabin in the Woods was by the Lake

**Author's Note:**

> I've changed names of characters to more suiting my taste and enabling me some word-play. Here they come:
> 
> Curt (Athlete) => Roddy  
> Jules (Whore) => Trisha  
> Holden (Scholar) => Kyle  
> Marty (The Fool) => Steve  
> Dana (Virgin) => Betty
> 
> I don't own characters, oryginal plot-lines or any other fragment of movies which were inspiration for this fanfic.

_**.....** Soft whisper of wind in the heights of trees brought the memories of all things lost. When it's too late you cling to past dreams. _

  
R: James' cousin has rent old cabin in the woods, wonderful place to be during long weekend. Location is just perfect! Door-to-door with clear and calm lake, it's surounded with thick forest. Kyle would know each kind of tree by name, he would call them Abies, Pinus, Betula, Picea and Acer. Hey, guys, these are nice nicknames. Let's do so! I'll take Acer! Everybody knows I'm the ace.    
  
S: Abies sounds like rabies. Anybody willing?  
  
T: I'm Picea! The only girly left is... what it was?  
  
B: "Betula", Trisha. Yeah, ok. I guess it won't kill me, though sounds weird.  
  
T: See, it actually suits you! Ehm, I mean, Betula and Betty, all these Bs...  
  
B: Oh, Trish. You better say no more, ok?     
  
T: I'm not Trish anymore, Picea is way cooler!     
  
K: You know, that's not really mature of you.  
  
T: C'm on, it's your turn. Kyle, you need to find more fun in life!  
  
S: You may choose between Rabies and Pinus. Don't waste the chance.  
  
K: Do you- do you actually know the difference between these trees, man?  
  
S: I'll save us embarassment. I claim Rabies.  
  
R: Kyle, you're the Pinus, then. Just to recall, let's sum up again. Trisha?  
  
T: Picea!  
  
R: And Betty, you are?...  
  
B: Betula, of course.  
  
R: Kyle, our scientific mind, you are...  
     
K: It's Pinus, if you have to.  
  
R: Steve, our Nickname Martyr, that is...  
  
S: Abies. Unpopular, so it suits me.  
  
R: You said that. As for me, you'll remember to call me Acer. Will be fun. Now, it would be great, guys, to go and camp there all weekend long. Fresh air, fish, wild nature, swimming in the lake, bonfires!  
  
T: Sounds cool!  
  
B: Yeah. Quite romantic!  
  
K: Actually, it's exceedingly benefitial for us, the city children, to embrace any opportunity we have and spend leisure time in fresh, unspoiled environment.  
  
S: You can say it simpler, Pinus. Like: it's healthy to be there.  
  
K: I simply enhance your vocabulary horizon, man.  
  
B: But wait, can we really stay there? It's much to ask. James is but your college roommate and his cousin doesn't know us. Trial to anyone's hospitality, I guess.  
  
R: Hey, Betula, it's perfectly all right. I've already talked with James and I did more than once! We have genuine, first-hand permission to go there for weekend. We're supposed not to break furniture or something, sure, that's kidna obvious. We'll leave place neat and clean. It's not like we ruin their leisure plans, I made sure about it.  
  
T: You have cool colleagues, Roddy! Ehm, what was your...  
  
R: Acer, like Ace R. Try and remember, Piccy.  
  
T: Acer, right. I like it better as Picea, not Piccy.  
  
R: Whatever you wish, Picea-spicy. So, guys and girls, are you sure you wanna go camp? Because we can spend all four days as everyday. It's up to you.  
  
S: You know, skunkweed never tastes as good as in the wilderness.    
  
K: It doesn't grow on trees, Steve. I hope there is no Acapulco red plantation.  
  
B: R- Acer, you got me slightly wrong. Of course I'm going. The last time I saw woods were at fifth grade holiday camp. I broke my leg on the second day.  
  
T: Oh, poor Betuly, hope it won't be like that ever again!  
  
B: I'll take my chances, Picea. There won't be any horse-riding school I guess?  
  
R: None I know of.  
  
B: Then I'll be fine.  
   
S: A horse that got high, imagine that?  
  
K: Now what are you laughing at? It would be cruelty to animals, actually.  
  
S: How about a stray cat?  
  
K: Seems I must go or my conscience will kill me. Surely it's good for you to have a sensible companion who can think on his feet. Last but not least, I'll show you the difference between Abies and Picea.  
  
S: Gender, perhaps?  
  
T: No need to ask that I'm gonna go with my boyfriend!  
  
R: Who says I'm going? Just joking. Anyway, we'll have fun. Everyone.  
   
   
**....** Five scapegoats send to the altar, but insecurely misjudged.

  
"Gonna be easy job." - plump man seemed to be born behind the desk and supposedly swallowed bureaucracy while breast-feeded. He turned round face away from wide and multiple screens. Young and skinny assistant tensed under heavy, indifferent gaze put on him from behind thick glasses.  
  
"Nowadays all kids are stupid. Reckless, barny, dumb. Even got a slang about that." - plump-man complained half-heartly. Sigh he gave was impressive in terms of air-volume, but not emotionally-vague.  
  
"Now, New, run and bring some fresh markers and white board... The later is behind the register cupboard, files from Zh to Zo. Undust it a bit. Be quick." - he instructed with faint smile of expectance something pleasant. 

  
**...** Deity looks in the menu and orders, then the order is to be flawlessly fulfilled. Five tables and equal amount of hunger. Unsatied hunger leads to rage.  
  
   
  



End file.
